We had a strange conversation at our Thanksgiving Table. For whatever reason, we began sharing our experiences with the loss of a child by miscarriage. Which was a totally inappropriate conversation for my son, Tyler and his wife, Kelsie, to hear, as they consider the possibility of their first child. But we charged ahead anyway. Geesh!
Assuming you are still reading, I was surprised and amazed how common it was to lose a child. Several of the women, of course men too, had experienced this pain. We didn’t have a group therapy session, but it didn’t take listening skill to sense the sadness and pain.
This feels like an awkward transition, but to say it bluntly, LCM has gone through several losses (think miscarriages). I am going back 10-15 years of LCM’s history. One of heartaches the literal loss of children running, singing, giggling their way into Schmidt Hall. The same longing, anticipating, waiting for a child to be born is hard enough, but then the loss – the pain, anger, and grief. Here is a thought: I think the four weeks of Advent will give us an opportunity, and I do mean, opportunity, to give expression to some of that pain.
The song, “O the most wonderful time of the year.” Sheri suggests that it is the most vulnerable time of the year. So, be oh so careful, that the expectations, the fears, the pace of the season don’t add to the pain. On Sunday, we will begin the new church year in darkness (lights dimmed). We will cup our hands on our laps as if ready to receive something. We will listen to a Taize song entitled “Wait For The Lord.” Wait for the Lord, Whose Day is Near.
Wait for the Lord, Keep Watch, Take Heart.
It is a long chant during which we will name our pain as it comes to us in various sizes and forms. Four Sundays of Advent. Geesh! On author writes:
“Advent never made much sense to me. When I was young, I couldn’t understand this emphasis on waiting. Let’s get to Christmas. Now that I have wept, now that I have grieved, now that I have lost, now that I have learned to hold space with and for the ones who are hurting, now I have a place for Advent.”
This Sunday we will begin checking out that space with one another.
Blessings! Kirk
